The Atlantic – Kate Julian
Despite the easing of taboos and the rise of hookup apps, Americans are in the midst of a sex recession.
This article is pretty wild and something I had never thought of. Sex has gotten much much weirder than when I was a kid.
For you anime watchers, here’s an excerpt:
… Pornhub, the top pornography website, released its list of 2017’s most popular searches. In first place, for the third year running, was lesbian (a category beloved by men and women alike). The new runner-up, however, was hentai—anime, manga, and other animated porn. Porn has never been like real sex, of course, but hentai is not even of this world; unreality is the source of its appeal.
To summarize the article: Everyone, including people in relationships, has decided that sex with another human being is a hassle. The younger you are the stronger the trend. Here’s another excerpt:
Who would pick messing around online over actual messing around?
Teenagers, for one. An intriguing study published last year in the Journal of Population Economics examined the introduction of broadband internet access at the county-by-county level, and found that its arrival explained 7 to 13 percent of the teen-birth-rate decline from 1999 to 2007.
Ok, declining birth rate among teens is good. Very good. But we seem to prefer virtual stimulation over those messy interactions that real people involve. Very sad. For teens to have lower sex drives than their elders? Very unnatural.
The scent of a real partner. The pheromones you can’t smell but that signal the time for lust has arrived. The softness of skin. Erectile tissue doing its thing. The sudden intake of breath from a well-placed nibble or a gently exploratory fingertip. The mystery of discovery. Murmuring sweet nothings. Lips and fingers and tongue all over each other. The coordinated rhythm of the dance of Eros and the music of the night. Passion building, full naked body contact, the intensely pleasured look on a lover’s face as… things get stimulated. Watching them lose control… pleading with you to stop the tease. Can’t stand it anymore. But you just tease them more. Good things should be stretched out to last.
I haven’t even gotten to actual intercourse yet. This is just the prelims.
Why would anyone want to miss out on that? Maybe they’ve never had good sex and don’t know what they are missing.
I mean, I can understand masturbating to erotica. Well done erotica can be extremely stimulating. (Hate to use the term porn because that rather indicates something lacking in aesthetics.) Been there myself plenty of times.
Watch out for sleazeballs for sure – but interacting with another human is so much more satisfying. Hot steamy one night stands or gentle and nourishing long-term relationships. Gotta be better than fapping in front of a monitor every night.
The internet has made it so easy to gratify basic social and sexual needs that there’s far less incentive to go out into the “meatworld” and chase those things. This isn’t to say that the internet can give you more satisfaction than sex or relationships, because it doesn’t … [But it can] supply you with just enough satisfaction to placate those imperatives … I think it’s healthy to ask yourself: “If I didn’t have any of this, would I be going out more? Would I be having sex more?” For a lot of people my age, I think the answer is probably yes.
Of all the possible explanations given, this is the most likely in my view. Helicopter parents, harsh feminist rhetoric, unrealistic expectations and bad practices from easily acquired porn, all these have an impact I am sure. We simply don’t associate with each other in any manner as much as we used to. The virtual world has its own allure and many people spend all their free time there.
The more time you spend around real people, the more you will respond to their pheromones. Those pheromones evolved over millions of years to make people sexually desirous. No people = no desire. You forget – or perhaps never learn – just how amazing biology can be.
That will be the real tragedy of the internet. Another aspect of what makes us human is being chipped away and one more step taken towards technological neutering.